Taking the Bait?

Being leaders in Celebrate Recovery, we are going to offend somebody unintentionally & be offended by somebody else at times.  What should you do when you get offended?

Rick Renner has an interesting article in "Sparkling Gems" on how we should act when we are offended. One scholar translated Luke 17:1, "It is simply unthinkable that you would allow yourself to dream that you could live this life without an opportunity to become offended."

The Greek word for offense is skandalon from which we get the word scandal. This is a powerful picture!  Skandalon originally described the small piece of wood that was used to keep the door of an animal trap propped open.  A piece of food was placed inside the trap to lure the animal inside.  When the animal entered the trap and accidentally bumped the skandalon, or the small piece of wood, the skandalon collapsed, causing the trap door to slam shut & the animal to be caught inside with no way to escape.  We've had raccoons sneak into our henhouse & kill our chickens.  So we know all too well the skandalon!  It works like a charm.

In Luke 17:1, Jesus used the word skandalon to warn us about events that happen in life with the potential to trip us up. Sometimes Satan baits us with something---drawing us into a trap in which he knows we'll be offended.  When we bump into a moment of offense, the trap slams down shut---and like an animal that is trapped in a cage and can't get out, we suddenly find ourselves caught in a miserable situation, trapped in negative emotions!

An offense usually occurs when you see, hear, or experience a behavior that is so different from what you expected that it causes you to be shaken in your soul.  You may be so stunned by this failed expectation that you get distracted and lose your footing emotionally.  Your shock turns into disappointment, then turns into offense.  We've all experienced it, because people come from different backgrounds, wake up in bad moods, have a bad day at work, may not feel physically well and the list goes on.

We must strive to communicate with people in a way they can understand what we are trying to say.  You will be surprised how many times they don't get it, what you are saying or meant to say.  People hear things through the filter of a host of hurts, hang-ups, & habits they've lived & their interpretation of our actions and words may be different from our original intention.

As leaders in CR, we are held to a higher standard to bring healing and restoration whenever misunderstanding and offense occurs.  If you learn that you have offended someone else, go to them immediately and take the mature path and ask for forgiveness.  Don't get defensive, just apologize and move forward.  The devil doesn't like anything better than to cause strife between people. It's a great scheme of his to stifle service in CR by distracting us with offenses. 

It is more important to be a peacemaker than to prove who is right or wrong.  Let's be leaders working towards healing and restoration in our lives and the people God places in our paths!

Because of Him,

Mary  

Jars of Love

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book. (Ps. 56:8 NLT)

The story of Mary anointing Jesus' feet at the supper at Mary & Martha's house will be forever etched in the Lamb's Book of Life! (John 12)  Mary must have been crushed by the disciples' cutting words saying she wasted the costly perfume.  But love is NEVER wasted in the kingdom of God.  No price is ever too high.  Love does not count the cost of the gift but rather the value of the recipient!

It took only a few moments for Mary to anoint Jesus and wipe His feet with her hair, but the aroma of that precious act still lingers and inspires us today.  Love was the basis of both gifts:  her gift of love and Jesus' gift of life.  Mary's gift touched the heart of the Son of God.  His gift would touch the hearts of sinners.

Amazing, isn't it?  Mary, who only saw Jesus sporadically, had better insight into His mission than the disciples who had been with Him day and night for three years.  What was the difference? Their posture!  Mary could always be found sitting at the feet of Jesus.  The ambitious disciples were too busy eating at the banquet tables, jostling over positions, criticizing others, and nurturing visions of glory as cabinet members in the kingdom.

When one surveys history, one event stands on the highest peak. There the holy seeds of eternity fell upon earth's sod, watered with the blood of our precious Savior. There upon the candelabra of the cross, God's gift of love to the world hung before the eyes of the universe anointing us with the aroma of forgiveness and healing.  And yes, Mary, your precious gift of love inspires us to open our "jars of love" and anoint the hurting and fallen for which our Savior gave His life.

Today, let's speak a word of love and make a gift of love to a struggling soul.  Jesus said even a cup of cold water in His name would not go unnoticed but bring a blessing. (Matt. 10:42)

Open your jars of love today through Celebrate Recovery!

Written by my dad, Alton Howard, who joined that great cloud of witnesses cheering us on until Jesus returns.

mary ~ National Encourager Coach for women

 aka Daughter of the King

You Can Do It!

Encourager Coaches, do you know what your most important role is?  To encourage your leaders!  I knew you knew that!  I want to share a short story I read out of a devo book about Heaven by Randy Alcorn to remind you of why we do what we do.

There was a woman named Florence Chadwick, who in 1952, decided she was going to swim the Pacific Ocean from Catalina Island, CA to the mainland.  She was already the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways, so surely she could do this. 

The weather was foggy and chilly and Florence could barely see the boats alongside her cheering her on.  After 15 hours of swimming, she pleaded to be taken out of the water.  But her mother, in a boat alongside her, told her she was close and could do it.  Finally though, Florence was emotionally and physically exhausted.  She stopped swimming and was pulled out.  As she looked out from the boat she noticed the shore was less than half a mile away.  News reporters were interviewing her the next day and she said, “All I could see was the fog…I think if I could’ve seen the shore, I would’ve made it.”

Her mom had told her she could do it.  But Florence’s vision was foggy and she gave up.  There are going to be times when your leaders are discouraged, tired, or encounter uncertain circumstances that will leave them foggy in their thinking.

We, as Encourager Coaches, can help them see the vision.  And that clear vision is of Jesus Christ, the, Anchor of our souls, the Rock of our salvation! The only One we can put our hope in that is preparing a home for us on the shores of a perfect homeland for eternity.

If we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus through the foggy waters of life and picture our eternal home, we will be comforted and become energized giving us a clear look at the finish line.

Paul said in Philip. 3:13-14, “One thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Thank you, Jesus, for the amazing sacrifice You gave for us so we can be with You forever where You will wipe all our tears away!

Now, I am energized for the day and going to look for an opportunity to encourage another Celebrate Recovery leader to see the clear vision of the prize awaiting them!

 Mary Owen

 National Encourager Coach for women

Church Leadership Support

I was recently asked again, “How can we get the support from our Pastors and Elders?  They love our Celebrate Recovery but still think of us as “those people.” I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked that. 

Having your Leaders and Church Staff behind your CR, or better yet, involved in your CR (because we ALL have hurts, hang-ups and habits) is VITAL. It will directly determine the size of your CR or whether or not you’re CR survives. When people come to me and say “our CR is struggling” the very first thing I ask is, “Do you have support from your church leadership?” Their reply, "Yes, our pastor said ya'll do that."  That's not really the kind of  "support" I'm talking about.

When your CR becomes a regular part of your church’s outreach and ministries, your CR will flourish and grow. There are many ways to get the word out.  But as far as your church leadership goes, when they really feel a part of this ministry, every time someone comes to them with a problem or struggle it will become second nature for them to say “Have you heard about CR?”

So how can you get your church leadership connected? Target them! That’s right target them through a campaign of encouragement. Have all your CR leaders send individual cards, not group cards to them. You want them overwhelmed by the number of cards they receive. Write on the cards how much you appreciate being given the opportunity to bring such a great ministry to your church, how much it has helped you, and how much it is helping people in your community and church.

And then to top it all off, we planned a formal Appreciation Dinner for our elders and staff. All of our CR leaders dressed in black pants and white shirts and served them an amazing dinner. When dinner was over we gathered around them in a circle as they stayed seated and we prayed over them thanking God for their leadership and support. They never have forgotten that night! Our leaders have become our greatest advocates.  And it all starts with a little encouragement.

Peace,

Mac

Keeping It Safe For the Newcomer

10 tips to keep it safe for the Newcomer:

1.  Resource table: Literature should either be all one color or one color for men & one for women.  We don't want the Newcomer to be hesitant to pick up a brochure because they feel they are being singled out by a different color.  

2.  Instead of saying to a person you aren't sure if they are a Newcomer or not, "Is this your first time?" (because they may have been coming for awhile)  You could say, "How long have you been coming?"

3.  Don't say upon first meeting a Newcomer:  “What's your addiction?” Most of the time, they aren't ready to share their secrets upon the first handshake.  It's always safe to say, "Glad you are here!"

4.  In the Newcomers class, when you break into small groups gender specific, you could ask this question to the group, "What brought you to CR tonight?" By that time they have already experienced Large Group, seen “The Words” video or your church's CR video, & heard explained the components of CR. Still give them the opportunity to pass in small group.  We don't want to put a shy person on the spot.  We want them to feel safe to share when they are ready.

5.  If you see someone sitting by themselves in Large Group, at the meal, or standing alone at Solid Rock, go sit by them.  If you've already talked with them, find another leader and discreetly ask them to go meet them.  We don't want to bombard them all at once.  At the same time, we don't want them to be all alone.

 6.  What if a Newcomer starts talking about their no good spouse & goes on continually berating them how they need to change?  I validate their feelings, because I know their feelings are raw just coming into recovery.  We’ve all been there!  Then I share how it all started with me.  When Mac saw a change in me, he eventually began looking at himself.  Change in us causes change in others.

7.  Walk with the Newcomer to Open Share group.  That is the time when I've seen people leave.  They aren't quite sure where the small group is even though it's in the bulletin or announced during Large Group.  It's just easier to walk out the door if no one is looking while thinking, “I'll try it next time.” Satan loves that, because he has the opportunity to distract them from not returning the next week.

8.  It's vital that Newcomer’s kids have a pleasant experience.  This will make or break them from coming back.  Make sure your childcare leaders have enthusiasm, energy, & the child is treated with love and extra care.  Many times it's the first time a child has set foot in a church building.  The goal is for them to leave saying they want to come back!  I can't tell you how many times because of Celebration Station & The Landing curriculum, along with positive childcare leaders, that parents have told us they can't miss Celebrate Recovery because their children beg to come back!

9.  Never say on Facebook, “Hey Susie, it was great to see you at CR last Friday night!”

10.  Always leave them with saying, “Glad you were here.  Keep coming back.  It works if you keep coming back.”

From your National Encourager Coach for women, I want to thank you for your diligence in making Celebrate Recovery a safe place

~ Mary